Dating for the ambitious man

An ambitious soul typically faces a tug of war between romance and self development. For us, time is mostly dedicated either to work and education. With such an intense schedule, dating appears to be a sacrifice. 

Despite appearances, a life full of deep romance is still possible for the man with bold dreams. In this article I will share my methods for remaining extremely productive while keeping divine feminine energy into my life. 

The major challenge the ambitious soul face is time. Two hours spent on a date is time loss from work or self development. How do we reconcile this situation? After all, we are not just here for social success but to live. After numerous years of struggle, I have developed three principles to help harmonize my love life with my professional endeavors.

Know what type of lover she is


Just like there are different types of social personalities, so they are different type of lovers. There is the shy lover, the controlling lover, the affectionate lover, the aggressive lover, etc. Identifying the type of lover you are dealing with is important, for you will be able to put her actions into proper context. Courting is a game of communication, one that transcends words. Identifying her romantic style will allow you to understand her messages, thus preventing confusion.

Once you become familiar with the different type of lovers, you will know which ones flow well with you, and which ones come at a more difficult cost. This knowledge will save you countless time and friction. Do not allow this knowledge to narrow your romantic pattern however. Although you will have personal favorites, a gentleman should be capable of handling many different type of lovers. 

Have Dating Rules and Live by them


To operate without rules in whatsoever endeavor is to invite chaos and confusion. You will be trying some of this, and some of that, doing this, and doing that, going round in circles without achieving anything. Like all else in life, your dating life need rules. They give you boundaries to operate in freely. A man should have rules when dating and courting. Things he will and will not do. Behaviors he will tolerate and not tolerate from her potential mate. These rules should be his rules and not that of another’s. Take time to create your rules, then live by them. 

Although it is not my policy to suggest rules, there is one I cannot help but mention. This rule is to avoid games at all cost. Games are a sign of dishonesty, an act of ruse to manipulate the other person. These games will tax your mental energy. They are giant energy leaks, energy you could have employed more fruitfully through work.

Most of relationship failure are due to improper courtship. We try to look our best as opposed to revealing who we really are inside. The irony is that relationships are the one place we’re supposed to unveil the social mask we often wear. Instead we try to appear greater than we are, or constantly aim at pleasing the other person. This deceives both our partner and ourselves. Relationship is practice in self honesty. Pealing the deeper layers within ourselves in order to gain self enlightenment. To do otherwise, defeats the entire purpose. 

Integrate her into your life

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A man should control his day. What needs to be done during each hour should be clear to him. When meeting someone attractive, our tendency is to break our schedule in order to spend time with them. This habit is dangerous. It not only jeopardizes productivity, but often leads to bitter regret when our plans with the potential lover does not work out.

I recommend a different approach. When you meet someone, keep your schedule exactly as is. Instead, try to embed her into your life as it is. If you frequent a specific coffee shop every morning, keep going there but ask her to join you. If there is a restaurant you go to every Sunday, keep doing that, but bring her with you next time. Asking her to join you in your routine activities makes everything easier. If she says yes, you get to do what you've always done but with a new companion. If she says no or cancels last minute, your life remains unaffected, for you did not alter your schedule.

A lover is a life companion. Making changes to accommodate a potential lover is a bad sign. Likewise, if she fits perfectly into your life and schedule, that is a good sign. Dating should feel effortless, you two should be like children around each other. You may be the most successful man on the planet, but around her, you are a little kid once more. 

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James AllanSocietyComment